He's still workin on me

Okay, yes, I realize it has been a long time since I blogged, but really, I just can't seem to find the words to say. At the beginning of January we had Dr. Geffers at our Church for the Northeast Missouri Regional Prayer Summit (I think that's what its called, perhaps we should shorten it?)

There are no other words except...WOW! I missed some of the services because I am blessed to work with the kids. That in itself was an experience. I was much more involved than I have been in the past (see prior blog) However, on Sunday God spoke directly to me. I have heard so many in the church say the same thing, but I can't figure out how He could be talking so clearly to me and to all the others at the exact same time. That blows my mind!

All of this didn't just start at Prayer Summit. Something is stirring in my church and I am just sitting in anticipation of what comes next. I sat last night talking to my momma and was frustrated because I couldn't form the words that I wanted to be able to explain what God has been showing me, how He's been transforming me, and healing me of all those hurts that I'd buried and told myself were finished.

God just has a way of gently nudging you and saying, "Hey, you know, maybe you should work on that some more. It's still there." I am learning that more seems to happen in my prayer time when I shut my mouth and just listen. We started a Bible Study at church after our weekly prayer meetings. We have been reading a book called "secrets of the secret place" by Bob Sorge. OMW!! It is life changing!! I was reading a couple of weeks ago and that week's reading talked about how God is waiting for us in our secret place. He's there the minute we have set up that place, be it a closet, our bedroom, wherever, He's there from the moment it becomes a reality. We don't kneel down and wait for Him to show up...He's just there. However, when we don't take the time to show up...we are standing Him up!! He's there, all the time, waiting on us. How mind blowing is that??? I mean really? There are 6.1 Billion People in this world and God is waiting for ME to meet in my secret place with Him? How, if you realize that can you not desire to meet with Him? its unreal.....

Another thing that convicted me, and I am sure I will mess this up, but momma was telling me last night.....a lot of times we think we have to be "disciplined" to pray, to read our Bible, to spend time with Him. Now how would you feel if your kids or best friend or anyone, felt they had to be "diciplined" before they could spend time with you? So I messed up the eloquent way she has with words and exlaining, but that was the gist of it. It convicted me!!! Why do I need discipline to speak with my Father? The Father who is waiting on me to show up and be with Him, the Father who is waiting to wrap His arms around me and soothe away the pain and hurts of my life. The very Father who robed Himself in flesh and came down to die for the sins I so easily committed.

Again...WOW!!! That is the only word I can think of....and its not nearly close to how I am feeling. God is taking us to a new level of communion, a new level of consecration, a new level of relationship with Him. Let's go....He's waiting for us to jump.

Wow!!

Strongholds ready to be broken

Teaching about the Armor of God

Worship "the crazy song"

Okay, this weekend was just amazing!! It has been our North Eastern Regional Prayer Summit. I was blessed to be able to teach again this year. Last year it was a small lesson, but this year God opened the door for me to be really involved. I was so nervous, but God worked it all out. I had a blast with my kids. I really just love the worship songs.......kids ministry is great!!

We learned to pray on our armor, all about our spiritual gifts, rewards from God, and Faith. we also learned that no matter how small we are, we can break down walls and strongholds.

This morning's service was about consecration. Dr. Geffers did an absolutely amazing job, and God really moved!! I couldn't wait until tonight to see what would happend next. Well, I was not disappointed!! God moved from the first minute on. Dr. Geffers preached about friends and foes. You really had to be there, but it was amazing.

After praying at the altar I was sitting just kind of in awe of God, and I heard little voices crying out. I followed the noise and what did I find, but two of my kids 9 years, and I believe the other is 11. They were leaning against a wall trevailing. Times like this make all the rough moments all worthwhile. This is what kids ministry is about, this is why we do it. I sat for over 30 minutes listening to them trevail in the Spirit and can't help but be in awe of the awesomeness of God! He knows all. I am greatful for this amazing weekend.

Recent Updates

I just put my Momma on a plane to Zimbabwe. I am not sure about this for plenty of reasons.

1. It is not exactly safe there right now, however I know God is good and this is His will so things are going to be just fine.

2. I'm supposed to be boarding that plane too. This spring I was also on the speaker list for this conference. Due to all the political turmoil, it just isn't safe or even possible for too many people to go. It's just not possible.

So, I am sitting here and for some crazy reason, I feel like my heart is breaking. Part of me is jealous, but not like you think. I want to be going, sure, but I also know great things are going to happen in this conference and for that I am so grateful.

But I am anxious and it made me think.

Sometimes we get so caught up in everything that is going on around us that we fail to see the big picture. We want everything NOW. We want to know when and where everything in life is going to happen and sometimes, that's just not the way God works. Sometimes, its in the waiting that we learn how to trust in Him.

Lately my world has been turned upside down and I have been finding it hard to trust....again. I have found though that to trust in Him, you'll never be let down. People are going to make mistakes, and sometimes those who you thought would always be there just aren't...but He is always there. He'll always remain and for that we can be truly thankful.

Thankful

Momma and us girls

Momma, Mom Allen, and us girls

Above are the newest family pictures

So its here again...Thanksgiving. Tomorrow will be a blur of action. Cooking, visiting with family, and friends. I thought now would be the best time to stop and reflect on just how blessed I am.

In these uncertain times so many people this year will go hungry...some are sitting in prisons, in foster homes, in orphanages. I am so very thankful for so many things.

1. My God. How can I ever be thankful enough. Without Him, I would never be what I am today.
2. My family. I am adopted into the greatest family ever!! Several years ago, I would have sat at home because I didn't have a family to celebrate with, but now...I am in the most loving, dedicated, beautiful family I could ever have hoped for.
3. My adopted mom, who took me when no one else wanted me. Pain and all, and help push me in the right direction. Who raised a "heathen teenager" that she surely would have been justified in walking away from. But she didn't. As a matter of fact...she loved me even more, and for that I am eternally thankful!!

Hope your Thanksgiving in warm, and full of love...and of course....TURKEY!!!!

New musings

Me and Aunt Lyn before the Foreign Missions Service

me, Aunt lyn, and Matt

Momma, Myra, Kevin, Matt, Me, and Aunt Lyn all waiting for Foreign Missions Service

So its been over three weeks since General Conference and time has all but flown by. Saw a couple of friends from Africa. Matt who I hadn't seen since the trip and Emily who I have seen some. Stirred up some old feelings...brought smiles to a lot of faces. Timo got healed!!! It was the most amazing feeling to watch it cross his face from the platform. Even better to watch him dance with his parents.

Now I am gearing up for the 7 Essentials of Kids Prayer Seminar. Well technically, I am not gearing up. I am "#1 Volunteer" so I am gearing up to do whatever is needed to make the ones in front breathe a little easier. Hey, I love being the one everyone can count on to do anything. Sometimes I wonder if that's all I am going to ever be good at. But, my ministry has always been helps, and if God can trust you with the little things, He'll soon trust you with the big things.

On a less contemplative note, Sister Vicki comes in town tomorrow afternoon!!! I love her!! She's in for the conference, but I am so glad she was able to come.

For now it seems I am at a crossroads: The door is open in Jordan....and I really feel God leading me to learn all I can and spend a term there. On the other side, it seems the door to go with the Simoneaux's is opening sooner than I thought, and that is truly my heartbeat...oh, what to do?

Lord, I know your hand is on my life because I feel it everyday. Sometimes in a word, or the hand of a friend, but regaurdless of how, I know you are there. I am in a bind and I don't know where it is you are leading me, but I want to be in your perfect will. I don't want to step out of the plan you have for me. So please guide my steps now and close the door to where you don't want me to be. Whatever it is, I'll do it, just please be my guiding hand.

God's Mysterious Ways

Last night my world changed. We had the Reed's Missionaries to the Middle East as our speakers at church. I love missionary services regaurdless of where the missionaries are from. I've never doubted God has called me to Africa, and I still don't. However, God opened up a door for me last night I never would have imagined He would.

Something happened to me through service last night. It felt like my very soul was breaking. I have always had a burden for muslims as well as children and orphans....and not too many people knew that. I found myself with tears pouring down my face crying out to God all through service. What on Earth?? I couldn't really figure it out. The Middle East God? Really? Surely you must be mistaken, you've called me to Africa.

"you said you'd go if I opened the door"

So after service I was so confused, didn't have a clue what to do or what to make of it. My Aunt without knowing what had happened asked if I had gone and talked to Sister Reed. That in itself is out of character for her. So I did, and tears were pouring down my face as she told me she knew service was running long because there was a young person being called...that she was waiting for me to come. WOW!!! Then she told me about what I'd be able to do as a woman in a muslim country.

I found my mom, told her what had happened, cried a lot more, and just let her reassure me, without missing a beat she said "Alright, Jordan? I'll buy your ticket" just like that...another confirmation.....my mom was on board. I can always count of her to be intune to God for things in my life. She's never spoken something into my life that didn't come to pass. She kept me from freaking out at that very moment. Believe me, I almost did, it was overwhelming!

So that was my Sunday night. I've updated my AIM status, and changed my appointment to Jordan. Talked with Sister Reed about my options, and spent the evening looking up things on Jordan. Throughout today I still find my self thinking.....the Middle East?? Really God, are you sure? HE has to know what He's doing though, so again, I'm going to jump.

Am I scared? Yes I am scared!! But God is good, and I am His, so things will be just fine. =)

Random musings

Ang is back!! At least for awhile. It's been so great getting to visit with her and hear about her "travels". In retrospect, all her questions about my plans for my oun life have really got me thinking. Also, it's got my heart breaking to tell you the truth because anyone who knows me, knows I would sell everything I own and board a plane today to go on the field.


On a differrent note, I am sick....really sick. I've put off going to the doctor much to my mom and aunt's discouragement for nearly a month praying it would get better, but it hasn't..it's gotten worse.

Again I am probably going to put off the doctor until I can't tell them no anymore, but I would really just rather God heal me than have to go.


Until next time......