Being sociable is overrated......

I attended a friend's son's graduation party today. From the moment I walked in the door I was talking about Africa. (My friend introduced me by telling everyone I had a burden for bringing Kids Prayer for Africa). For those of you who know me, you know that being sociable is not my idea of a good time. I find it hard to make small talk, and am painfully shy. I am getting better.....it used to be much worse. 

A man from my church (very sweet and can always make me laugh) got my attention and I talked with him a while. He told me he felt in his spirit to tell me that there was so much potential in me to be a people person, it just wasn't developed. That sometimes I guard myself because of hard knocks in my life. (what was strange about this, is that he knows nothing about where I come from, he's only known me since being in church, and I've never shared anything with him) He said that I have the ability to talk in a way that I draw people in, and that as my ability developes I will be able to use that in the field. 

So as tears welled up and he essentially "read my mail", I started thinking. I didn't have much time to dwell on that as another friend began to drill me about Africa. Don't get me wrong, I will still talk to anyone who will listen about Africa. I enjoyed myself, but when it was over, the reality hit me, I am still here. I want to be there. I know in my heart of hearts, this is where God wants me for now. That does not make the waiting any easier. 

Part of me wonders, will I ever finish nursing school, will I ever get to hold another African baby, will I ever get to dance to the offering plate again? I am called, so I know if I do what HE wants, I will most certainly be there again one day. I'm telling you though, I am not doing so well with the waiting.

Today, I feel like a failure, I feel overwhelmed. I feel like I am not getting anywhere and I am not making a difference. I know in my heart, that all of that is a lie. 

So now, I am going to find a place to get quiet and probably cry, and pray.........because I know this will pass. My God never fails, so I know He isn't going to start now.