Craziness, Randomness, and Fun

I had the pleasure this weekend of going to Chicago with my best friend. Let's just say, it was eventful to say the very least. 

SOOOOO, we leave St. Louis at about 4ish....get about 10 minutes away before realizing we have forgotten allergy medicine and Lyn's phone charger.  Turn around, by 4:30 we are back on the road. We stop at quicktrip for hotdogs, caffeine, and gas and then we are off.  We had the windows down, radio blaring, laughing hysterically. We passed a ton of signs that looked like cities in states nowhere near where we needed to be. (El Paso, altlanta, Towanda)

So at about 9 or so we get to Joliet, our home about 45 minutes from the city. We check into our motel and get to our room to find that it had been a smoking room, we are in the ghetto, and the room is just horrible. I'm not a baby, but this room was really bad. Trying to make the best of it, I decided to turn the air on thinking maybe it would help...and the air conditioner sparks, burning the carpet, and shocks the daylights out of me, knocking me on my backside. 

At this point Lyn is grabbing a phone book only to find someone has torn the hotel pages out of the yellow pages. We use the internet on her phone to find the nearest Hampton Inn an exit away and make our way there instead.  It ended up good in the end, our room there was amazing!! There was even a rubber duckie (which we named duckie) on the bathtub.

So after talking awhile, grabbing food, and soaking our feet in the hot tub, we settled in for the night.

Day one in Chicago was a blast!! We got up early, drove in, and parked at the end of the redline el station. We took the el into Theatre district and walked. We came across a parade, which was just beginning, went to the Art Museum, and took pictures with a bull. All the while Lyn is reminding me we need to be back in the Theatre district at 1:30 to try and get tickets to a matinee, there are several shows playing. Whilst standing there she informs me she needs to grab something she wrote down out of the bookbag on my back. Out she pulls tickets to the 2pm showing of Mary Poppins, my all time favorite movie, that has come to broadway. 

So I was in my happy place. Our night was finished by an eventful ride back to the El station to get my car. Wrigley and Soldier Fields had just let out and we had all the crazies on our rail. We went and got a great pizza, went back to the hotel, and talked for awhile. 

Day two included the Pier..which cost us 24 dollars to park, a huge ferris wheel, pirates, funnel cakes, Ducks eating said funnel cake, a chicago style hot dog, the stained glass Museum, and lots of pictures, before driving home.

It was a weekend of so much laughing my stomach is still sore, no stress, no phone, no internet, LOTS of walking, and first time experiences. I had the time of my life. I am so very blessed to have a best friend to be able to do things like this with.

Being sociable is overrated......

I attended a friend's son's graduation party today. From the moment I walked in the door I was talking about Africa. (My friend introduced me by telling everyone I had a burden for bringing Kids Prayer for Africa). For those of you who know me, you know that being sociable is not my idea of a good time. I find it hard to make small talk, and am painfully shy. I am getting better.....it used to be much worse. 

A man from my church (very sweet and can always make me laugh) got my attention and I talked with him a while. He told me he felt in his spirit to tell me that there was so much potential in me to be a people person, it just wasn't developed. That sometimes I guard myself because of hard knocks in my life. (what was strange about this, is that he knows nothing about where I come from, he's only known me since being in church, and I've never shared anything with him) He said that I have the ability to talk in a way that I draw people in, and that as my ability developes I will be able to use that in the field. 

So as tears welled up and he essentially "read my mail", I started thinking. I didn't have much time to dwell on that as another friend began to drill me about Africa. Don't get me wrong, I will still talk to anyone who will listen about Africa. I enjoyed myself, but when it was over, the reality hit me, I am still here. I want to be there. I know in my heart of hearts, this is where God wants me for now. That does not make the waiting any easier. 

Part of me wonders, will I ever finish nursing school, will I ever get to hold another African baby, will I ever get to dance to the offering plate again? I am called, so I know if I do what HE wants, I will most certainly be there again one day. I'm telling you though, I am not doing so well with the waiting.

Today, I feel like a failure, I feel overwhelmed. I feel like I am not getting anywhere and I am not making a difference. I know in my heart, that all of that is a lie. 

So now, I am going to find a place to get quiet and probably cry, and pray.........because I know this will pass. My God never fails, so I know He isn't going to start now.

Happy Mother's Day

In respects to most people, I have much more to be thankful for on this particular day. You see, I am adopted. Not only am I adopted, but I was adopted as a teenager. 

Let me start by saying, I was not an easy case. I was not serving God....I was a bus kid from a very broken, abusive home, and instead of running as far away from me as she could, this person held on tight and eventually became the momma I needed.

My momma is patient, kind, nurturing, wise, beautiful, and the most Godly woman I know. She was strict when I was younger, and helped give me boundaries when I wanted them least, but needed them most. She dealt with backlash, mistrust, and plain out hurtful words. I'm sure there were plenty of tears, and hurt on her part, but she remained. She held on tight with one hand on mine, and one hand on God's until I was strong enough to hold onto Him myself. 

She was the first person to tell me I'd was called to Africa (confirmation in my heart because I already knew) She was there the day I boarded the plane to go there for the first time. She was, is, and will remain my biggest supporter, my biggest fan. She makes me feel like I can do anything if I set my heart to it. 

So, even though it is a day late, I wanted to say how amazing Mother's Day really is for me. It's the day to celebrate the woman God has put in my life to be my momma. She chose me, even though she didn't have to, and she held on. In service yesterday one of the speakers said "Some of us don't have families in the church or at all for one reason or another, but God always knows, and supplies us with those to fill in that gap and usually they are closer to us than any blood relative could be"

I can attest to this first hand.

Just when the camel can't take another straw.....

"The Rescue" was intense. We were finally rescued after almost 24 hours. Chicago is still waiting. It's almost a week for them. We met at the courtyard outside the Edward Jones dome downtown. They put us into groups of 10 to 15 people, then we walked to the archgrounds (our army camp), through Keiner Plaza, holding onto a rope. The rope was to symbolize that the child soldiers are bound together. It was a chilling feeling to be honest. It's different when you are placed in a situation to kind of get a feel for what it must be like.....though our day was nothing like that of a child soldier. After we got to the arch we spent the day on the steps writing letters to congressmen, senators, the president, anyone we could think of trying to raise awareness and support for these children. As it got dark and 11pm rolled around, we walked to a concrete area across the street and laid out our mats to settle in for the night. I left at Midnight, a little later. I had been sick for a few weeks and that did me in. Let me tell you though, to lay out my mat and to be that upclose and personal with people I don't know (One girls head was on my legs and I was arm to arm with a boy in my group) was more than a little eye opening. This is what those child soldiers do everynight, this is what unabducted kids do to keep from being abducted.


So I look back over things in my life and I am starting to see a real change. I am stronger, and less insecure (though I definately have my moments). I am stepping into ministries I never thought I'd be involved in. It's only natural that I would face opposition. So while this week has been trying and I feel like I am breaking, maybe it isn't so bad to be broken. Isn't that what God really wants anyway? When we are broken, we are dependant on Him. Maybe that's been my problem. Maybe I have been trying to do so much for HIM, but not really taking the time I need to just "be" with HIM. I am losing my time with Him, and I really have decided,I don't like that.

Natalie Grant has a new song on the radio that I just love:
There's no such thing as perfect people
There's no such thing as a perfect life
So come as you are
Broken and scarred
Lift up your heart
And be amazed, be changed
By a perfect God!!

So this week is only a test...its a time of reflection, and a time of breaking that maybe I have needed. The tears won't last forever, the pain will fade, and I will overcome. (Now if only my heart believed my logic.)

If you go to http://www.invisiblechildren.com/ you can view pics, and there are also some on my facebook page. The Website also has all the updates.....it also has ways to get involved.